Published July 17th 2018 by Gallery Books
Reminiscent of the beloved novels by Mary Kubica and Jodi Picoult comes a chilling portrayal of a son’s addiction and its harrowing effects on both him and his mother from New York Times bestselling author Courtney Cole.
There comes a time when offering your life for your child’s doesn’t work, when you realize that it’ll never be enough.
The cold needle in his warm vein was a welcome comfort to my son at first. But then it became the monster that kept us apart.
Heroin lied, and my son believed. It took him to a world where the last year didn’t happen, to a place where his father was still alive. What Beck didn’t understand was that it couldn’t bring his father back from the dead. It couldn’t take away his pain, not permanently.
You think it can’t happen to you, that your kids, your family, will never be in this situation.
I thought that too. But you’re wrong.
Step into our world, and see for yourself.
Watch my golden boy become a slave to this raging epidemic. Watch me try and save him.
Drug addiction comes with a price.
Trust me, you’re not equipped to pay it.
Don’t miss this heartwrenching, evocative, yet hopeful novel—it will leave you forever changed.
My thoughts & ramblings
“I’d never felt so low.
I’d never felt so sub-human.
But even still, I waited for them to return, because I needed what they had more than I needed pride. More than I even needed to breathe.”
As a mom, this book is my worst fear. Honestly. I have dealt with addiction in my family and it is not pretty. This book portrays the user and the family so perfectly. It gave me back some memories with my sister that I had not really thought about in years.
I loved the way this book was written. The POV went back and forth between Beck and his Mom. We get to see both sides of the fence per say. While Beck was fighting his fury & hostility which turned him towards an outlet in the first place, his Mother was defending him and thinking that her son was just stressed and was being a teenager.
I cannot even put into words my feelings when I got to the end of the book and the author let us into her life a little and told her personal story with her son. I give her hugs kudo’s for being brave enough to write this book AND leave us a little into her personal life. It lets those that are battling with loved one’s know that there are other’s out there and they are not alone. You could try to understand how it feels all you want but you will never really grasp it until you are in that moment trying to detox your loved one, holding their hair back over the bucket and trying to stay calm yourself as they shake and cry.
Thank you Ms. Cole for being brave. Thank you Ms. Cole for being honest. AND thank you Ms. Cole for being able to portray both sides while telling an all too familiar story.
My sister and I are 4 years apart. I am the oldest of 3 siblings. My brother is in the middle, 2 years behind me.
My sister started using when she was in high school. It started off with just marijuana but slowly moved onto heroine. We lived for a really long time with her addiction. She stole from us, had friends steal from us. You could never trust her or really believe anything she said. When she was 21, she had my niece, Kayla. She was still addicted and it did not seem to be getting any better. My Mom took over custody of my niece and had to take my sister to court to get custody. I will never forget that day and it was so hard on my Mom because this was her daughter…but she needed to take care of my niece since she was only a baby. Throughout the years, my sister was on & off. She would show up for a short period of time, then disappear again for months. We never knew where she was or even if she was alive. I now know that at the time, she felt like there was nothing to live for. Her daughter was taken away and she was depressed.
My Mom got custody of my niece when she was 4 months old. This year Kayla will turn 19. She still lives with my Mom although my sister has been clean for almost 9 years. My sister had to move across the US to another state to actually get clean for good. She now has 3 other children besides Kayla. Kayla and my sister have a lot that they still need to work through. There is so much anger there and we are slowly working through it. I do pray every day and thank god for giving us my sister back. Our relationship is so much better and stronger now than it ever was! We talk every day and she will visit at least every other year. My Mom and I just visited her in Florida this past November. We have become best friends and I hope it never changes!